The 'Burboons Speak, and Of Course It Sounds Like Ass

The Strib has an article about suburbanites getting religion and using public transportation to get to work. They've seen the green revolution and they want to get onboard! (It has nothing to do with the fact that it costs them $92.50 to gas up the Navigator every 3 days). After reading those sentences, I don't think anyone will be surprised to know I don't have a lot of respect for the average 'burb dweller, but quotes like these almost make it mandatory to just assume all 'burboons have shovel-to-cranium disease:

"I really think there's a big misconception out there that buses are stinky and there's all these grimy people on them," said [Tony] Pistilli, of Brooklyn Park. "And it's just not that way! You meet the same people over and over again, whether it's the 8:02 or the 7:56, and they're just like you." (emphasis added)

"I do have an SUV, I feel you need one in a northern state," [Katie] Robers [of St. Michael] said, "but even though if you knew me you'd be, like, 'You're no environmentalist,' I do like to balance out that cardinal sin with the little things you can do." (emphasis added)

Emily Miller, coming in from Eden Prairie, says that while "money is an issue, in some ways it's more environmental. You see the stop-and-go traffic on the crosstown [highway] and just think of all those greenhouse gases." . . . And Miller confesses to a certain image, beforehand, of bus riders. "You sometimes think they're creepy people muttering things -- I don't mean that in a bad way -- but it's a bunch of people from Eden Prairie and the southwest suburbs just going to work downtown, or kids to the U. It's not a creepy experience at all. " (emphasis added)

So, it's official, apparently: you have to be completely clueless to be a 'burboon, with lots of baseless, preconceived notions of what horrible creatures must live in the Twin Towns. How sheltered and stupid are these people? Luckily for them, African Americans, Asians and Hispanics have the courtesy to have darker skin, so that the 'burboons can easily identify them and avoid them as much as possible. For us "creepy," "grimy" Caucasian city folk, I guess they just have to take their chances.